


Homewrecker/Valley of the Dolls

by PeachyRenjun



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alcoholism, Gender non-conformity, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other, Suspension of Disbelief Required, Unexplained time jumps, kind of an arranged marriage au if you squint, murder plots, no one is a good person, siwon is kind of more of a dick than everyone else but mostly on accident, unrealistic depictions of addiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 17:04:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15223754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyRenjun/pseuds/PeachyRenjun
Summary: None of them have been alright for years, but things are about to get a lot worse.





	Homewrecker/Valley of the Dolls

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so a few things before we start: 1) Sorry Siwon. 2) I have absolutely nothing against Saeun. The character of Sungmin's fiancée in this fic is not necessarily meant to represent her. 3) There is some implied past abuse, but it's not described graphically.
> 
> 4 (The big one) Some of the characters in this have a bit of an odd relationship with the concept of gender. The pronouns used to refer to them vary based on the POV character. The best way I can explain this is that they're somewhere along the lines of gender non-conforming or gender fluid, but have had to overperform certain characteristics in order to obtain certain societal benefits. This portrayal of gender and the way which characters interpret it is not meant to invalidate trans or nonbinary identities.

Sometimes, Heechul thinks, he wishes Hangeng would cheat on him. When he watches the women in their pretty dresses and perfect curves talk to _his_ fiancé, he sees Hangeng’s eyes travel. Heechul pulls him back, placing a hand on his knee to remind him to _whom,_ exactly, he belongs. Hangeng looks over at Heechul, his eyes widening as he remembers to introduce the girls to his fiancée. The girls tell Heechul that his hair looks lovely, that his dress looks beautiful, “aren’t you so lucky _unnie_?” There is a glint of jealousy in their eyes, and, when he was younger, he would have been proud to inspire such jealousy.

Now, it just feels empty.

He pulls Hangeng up from their seats, leads him across the room to somewhere else, anywhere else. Heechul walks in his short heels, his fur-coat draping down his back and almost to his knees. Even after years of wearing dresses like this, he still feels exposed. He knows, as he gets older, that he’s losing his ability to support this charade. He’s losing his curves, the softness of his face, and every other thing that made it so easy for him to appear feminine. His voice cracks sometimes, goes a little lower than it should. He thinks that his younger brother would be better at this, considering how small of a figure and how high of a voice he has. But Ryeowook is off screwing their--what was it, third?--cousin, a man that Heechul only knows as an artist, the kind that no one should tie their livelihoods to. But Heechul is a hypocrite, Hangeng is an artist too. He’s just one that’s already made his break.

Heechul realizes that he’s pulled Hangeng almost to the door, and that his fiancé is now trying to question him. He shrugs off his questions, tells him that he’s not feeling well, and he can see the look in Hangeng’s eyes as he tries to decide whether to be a good fiancé, or to let Heechul go home alone so that he can stay and flirt with those girls some more. Heechul turns to walk off without a word, already knowing which way Hangeng will eventually decide.

And when Hangeng comes home later that night, maybe even into the wee-hours of the next morning, smelling of a perfume that is far too sweet to be Heechul’s, Heechul will pull him into his arms and not ask questions. Heechul is living on borrowed time, after all.

 

Ryeowook wakes up on the paint-splattered floor, his jeans and shirt covered in similar splotches of color that add life to his otherwise monotonous outfit. He is alone, once again, without even the smell of coffee to alert him that Jongwoon is in another room, making the one piece of their morning routine that he could without setting their kitchen on fire.

Ryeowook pushes himself off the floor, dusting off pieces of dried, flaking paint that have managed to stick themselves into his hair. He makes his way to the kitchen, the only other real room in their small apartment. As he expected, Jongwoon is noticeably absent. He sighs, beginning to prepare a meal fit for one. Jongwoon won’t be home until the sun begins to set.

After he eats, he arranges the main room of their apartment, which serves as a living room, bedroom, and studio. He folds the few blankets and pillows that they had slept on the previous night, pressing his nose against Jongwoon’s pillow as if that could help fill the space that Jongwoon himself had left. He stacks the bedding in the corner, arranging them as neatly as he can. He wishes that they had cushions, not even a full mattress, but just enough of something to keep them from sleeping on the cold, hard floor. Jongwoon doesn’t have nearly enough money to buy them something like that, and Ryeowook is too proud to come running home to his family for money.

There is a painting on the easel, one that Jongwoon has been working on for the past few days. It’s of a naked male figure, slim, with thin sheets covering the most private parts of his body. His chest is fully exposed, an overly realistic image of his heart overlaid on top of his chest. He is crying, and Ryeowook cannot deny that every detail of this painting, even down to the little pinprick scars over the veins in the arms, looks exactly like Ryeowook.

Jongwoon comes home only a few minutes before the sun sets, his scarf wrapped tight around his neck. Ryeowook gently unwraps the scarf, pulling off the mask that he wears to expose the lower half of his face. He leans up to kiss Jongwoon, feeling the other man like hard, unmoving marble against him. He pulls back, scoffs at himself internally for expecting anything different. He leads the other to the meal that he has prepared, feeling warmth throughout his chest when Jongwoon readily eats it.

An hour later, when Jongwoon settles between Ryeowook’s open legs, Ryeowook makes himself believe that this time, he can convince Jongwoon to stay through the morning.

 

Heechul is introduced to Kyuhyun at a party. He’s young, he’s proud, and he has a fire in his eyes, the kind that Heechul has always admired in a person. It’s a fire, not of romantic passion, but of utter hatred. Heechul remembers when he had that fire as well, when he turned it on everyone else in the world. It only takes Heechul a few minutes of speaking with Kyuhyun to realize that Kyuhyun’s fire, Kyuhyun’s hatred, is much more specific, much more targeted, than his own.

Heechul asks Kyuhyun why he’s been dragged to the party, as he doesn’t seem like much of the party type. Kyuhyun laughs, looking across the room for a few seconds before gesturing his head toward someone on the other side of the room. Heechul turns his head to look, as Kyuhyun says, in explanation, “My brother.”

Heechul recognizes Kyuhyun’s brother immediately. Siwon. Heechul turns back to Kyuhyun. He’s still looking across the room at his brother, and the fire in his eyes has intensified tenfold. Heechul understands. He goes to the same church as Siwon, deals with him on a regular basis. Despite his endless wealth and his annoyingly handsome face, Siwon is an astonishingly easy man to hate.

 

Heechul knows the way that Siwon looks at him. He sees how Siwon stares at him from behind, how he licks his lips before he glances back up to meet Heechul’s eyes. Heechul knows that Siwon knows what’s under Heechul’s skirt, that he knows that Heechul is not all that he is pretending to be. Siwon would have undoubtedly called him a sinner, if he had been anyone else, but Heechul has seen the way that Siwon looks at him, the way Siwon looks at Hangeng, the way Siwon looks at his own best friend, Kibum. For all of his holy-speech, Siwon is a sinner too.

Heechul considers it, sometimes. Lust always overwhelms hatred. He considers disappearing from his fiancé’s sight for a few hours, just long enough to discover exactly how good Siwon is in bed. He knows that he would have to make the first move, that Siwon is far too much of a gentleman, too much of a saint, to ever openly proposition him. Despite his gentlemanly nature, there is not a touch of love in his gaze, only lust. Heechul thinks that he needs that, sometimes.

Siwon, with his unbridled and unforgiving lust, is a welcome change from Hangeng, with his once-loving touches and those eyes that used to sparkle like Heechul had hung the stars in the sky. With Hangeng, the only thing that Heechul can do is remember. With Siwon, the only thing he can do is forget.

Heechul has never been angry enough at Hangeng to run to Siwon, no matter how much he fantasizes about it. He figures that he will run to Siwon once he and Hangeng are married, and Hangeng will be bound to him forever. Divorce rates may be rising in the Western World, but it would be far too much of a disgrace for Hangeng, especially with the spotlight that he has on him. Heechul can play the pretty wife for the rest of his life. It’s not like he has anything better to do.

And so Heechul loops his hands with Hangeng as they make their way out of the church, services finally over. Siwon follows behind them, his eyes ever on Heechul, yet not daring to say a word. As Heechul and Hangeng walk to their car, Heechul laughs, seemingly at nothing. Hangeng does not react. Heechul has always been like this.

 

Kyuhyun rises from his seat, hearing a knock at his door. He glances through the peephole before opening the door, seeing his longtime friend and occasional lover Sungmin on the other side. Sungmin is looking down at the ground, not his usual, cheerful self.

Kyuhyun guides him inside, asking him what’s  wrong. The answer hits Kyuhyun like a punch to the gut, knocking his world off balance. “I’m getting married.”

Kyuhyun feels the air shift between them, and he knows that things will never be quite the same. Sungmin will marry her, the woman that his family had picked out, and then Sungmin will pretend that Kyuhyun has only ever been a dear friend. Kyuhyun supposes that he is alright with that, he has to be, after all. But he cannot let Sungmin go forever without loving him once more.

They fall into bed together, as they always have. Their bodies intermingle, neither of them truly aware where one ends and the other begins. Their breath mixes, and Kyuhyun feels Sungmin gripping onto him as if pleading never to let him go. Kyuhyun wishes, on every good deed that he has ever done, that he could turn back time and claim Sungmin as his. That they could run away together, before Sungmin’s family snatched him away. But Kyuhyun knows that he cannot change anything.

As they fade into the afterglow, their limbs tangled together on Kyuhyun’s bed that has always been the perfect size for the two of them, Sungmin leans over to whisper in Kyuhyun’s ear. “I love you.”

Kyuhyun hears it, closing his eyes. He cannot bear to look Sungmin in the eyes and see the pain that he’s going through, the pain that he will only add to. He tells himself that he’s doing the right thing, even when he’s never felt more wrong in his life.

“You need to love her, instead.”

 

Heechul has never liked planning things. He’s not that detail-oriented, and he always throws out his progress when he realizes that he’s changed his mind, once again. The wedding is approaching quickly, and even though Hangeng insists that he hire a wedding planner, he knows that no one could ever really understand what he wants for the wedding. Heechul is an unknowable being, with perplexing priorities and a quick-changing mood. There’s only one other person in the world who knows him well enough to make decisions for him: his brother.

Which is why Ryeowook is now sitting across the table from him, peering over wedding magazines and pointing out things that he thinks Heechul would like. Ryeowook looks small, in his torn blue jeans, plain black t-shirt, and blue beanie. He’s wearing a light jacket, but he’s shivering against the cold, even inside. His feet, in his red converse, tap against the floor to a beat that only he can hear. He has a smile on his face, but even a fool could tell that the smile was for Heechul’s benefit, and not out of his own happiness. Heechul pities his brother.

When Ryeowook decides to put off stylistic choices for another day, he begins working on the guest list, jotting down names that he knows Heechul and Hangeng would want there, occasionally looking up to check with Heechul on something. “Do you want to invite Youngwoon?”

Heechul freezes at the name of their other brother. It has been so long since either of them have seen Youngwoon; Heechul knows what he’s like now, more often than not. But he’s still their brother, through thick and thin. “Invite him. And Jungsoo as well. I wouldn’t want him to be all alone in that big house.”

 

Jungsoo likes to sit in Ryeowook’s childhood bedroom sometimes. Whenever he’s sad, or anxious. Sometimes he’ll do it when Youngwoon’s had a drink too many. Youngwoon doesn’t like Ryeowook’s room.

Ryeowook’s room is covered in pastel colors: soft pinks, baby blues, and light violets. In the dark of night, illuminated only by the moonlight from the window, the colors make the room feel soft, nothing like the rest of the house with its blood red wallpapers and dark-stained hardwood floors. There are dolls and action figures neatly arranged on shelves and bookcases around the room, playing out scenes from various movies. The twin-sized bed is neatly made-up, perfectly fresh from the last time that Ryeowook had slept there, a little over four years ago. Even when Ryeowook is running away, he still has to make sure that everything is clean and neatly arranged.

There is a dollhouse in one corner of the room, placed in the center of a flower-patterned rug. The dollhouse is large, large enough that it stands taller than most human adults when they sit before it. It’s a model, almost exactly, of the house that Jungsoo now sits in, where Ryeowook had grown up. The details of the decorations throughout the house are precise, the only differences being changes that had been made after Ryeowook had run away. Inside the house, there are custom-made dolls that match the one-time occupants of the house, as well as a few others that Ryeowook had no-doubt requested. In one bedroom, across the hall from Ryeowook’s room, there sits a doll-model of Heechul, complete with an elegant dress and long ginger curls. Next to the doll, there is another doll, dressed in an elegant suit with short black hair. The doll has its hand on Doll-Heechul’s thigh, in a position that suggests either intimacy or coercion. In another room, there sit two dolls that Jungsoo recognizes as himself and Youngwoon. The two dolls are reading together, Doll-Jungsoo’s hand combing through Doll-Youngwoon’s hair while two glasses of wine sit on the table before them. In the kitchen, a doll version of Ryeowook’s late mother prepares dinner with the help of several servants. There is no doll version of Ryeowook’s father in the house.

Ryeowook’s room is the most meticulously arranged room in the dollhouse. Everything is in perfect place, even tiny miniature books that match the titles of the books on the shelves in the real room. There are two dolls in Ryeowook’s room: one, of course, a model of Ryeowook, dressed in skinny jeans and a v-neck shirt, while the other is a model of Jongwoon, complete with his ear-piercings and blue beanie. The two dolls are arranged on the bed, Doll-Jongwoon lying on top of Doll-Ryeowook. Jungsoo was certain that if Ryeowook’s family hadn’t already known where he had gone when he ran off, the dollhouse was meant to be a sign.

Jungsoo and Ryeowook had only inhabited the house at the same time for about three months before Ryeowook had run off. Jungsoo hadn’t heard anything from him since then, but really, Jungsoo hadn’t heard much from anyone. After Youngwoon’s mother and father had died, it was only Jungsoo and Youngwoon left in the house, as Youngwoon hadn’t cared enough to keep the staff for which his parents had payed. Ryeowook had run off, and Heechul had moved out to live with his fiancé.

Jungsoo sighs, leaving the room behind as he walks to the house’s master bedroom. He opens the door to the room, sighing in relief when he sees that Youngwoon is already asleep. He closes the door behind him, silently changing into his nightclothes and laying down on the bed beside Youngwoon. He intertwines his fingers with Youngwoon’s, feeling the solid metal bands on their ring fingers clink together. They’re not wedding bands, but they might as well be. Sometimes Jungsoo wishes that they were wedding rings, maybe even something more than that. Other times, he wishes that there were no rings at all.

 

Heechul offers for Ryeowook to stay the night in the guest room of the penthouse apartment that he and Hangeng share. Ryeowook gracefully consents, because he’s been sleeping without a mattress for four years and Jongwoon probably won’t come home that night anyway. Within an hour, Heechul has Ryeowook trying on various dresses and skirts, messing around with different shades of eyeliner and lipstick to see which ones look the best with his complexion. Ryeowook switches from calling Heechul ‘hyung’ to calling him ‘unnie,’ and they lay on the bed together, Ryeowook’s head on Heechul’s shoulder, curled up against his side like he did when they were children.

Ryeowook whispers his worries into Heechul’s ear, telling him the all too familiar stories of an artistic lover who values him less as a person and more as a work of art, of which one eventually grows tired. Heechul whispers, “I know,” at the end of one of the stories, and Ryeowook begins crying, because no, he _doesn’t_ know. Hangeng has always had more than enough money, and there’s a big difference between being ignored in a decadent penthouse and being ignored in a shabby one-room apartment without heating. Heechul is clinging to Hangeng because he has everything that Heechul could ever want or need, at least in the material sense. Ryeowook is clinging to Jongwoon because it’s all that he’s ever done. Ryeowook doesn’t know who he would be if he didn’t have Jongwoon. Jongwoon saved him.

Heechul sings a lullaby until Ryeowook falls asleep, gently climbing out of the bed and tucking Ryeowook in. He places a kiss on Ryeowook’s forehead and walks out of the room, leaving a nightlight on. He decides, then, that he will not let Ryeowook return to the apartment he shares with Jongwoon. He doesn’t think he could afford to see his brother crying and shivering from the cold again, let alone live to bury him when he dies of an overdose.

 

Siwon is unsurprised to see Hangeng’s pretty fiancée making her way toward him, although he is surprised to see the smaller girl that she drags along at her side. He ends his conversation with Kibum, making his way over to the young women. Kibum huffs as he watches his friend walk away.

Heechul introduces the other girl as her younger sister, Ryeowook. The younger girl is wearing a long dress that highlights her thin frame. She has hair that is cut short, and as Siwon surveys her, noticing the distinct lack of any real curves, he realizes that she is like Heechul. He begins a conversation with her as Heechul walks away, wishing the two the best of luck as though she knows something that they don’t.

Siwon learns that Ryeowook has come home from travel abroad recently, that she’s currently living with Hangeng and Heechul, and, most importantly, that she’s unmarried and unengaged. She’s cute, she’s pretty, and she has the right anatomy to satisfy him while having the right gender presentation to satisfy everyone else. Siwon decides that he wants her.

Siwon asks her to dance, and they twirl around each other on the dance floor with all of the other immaculately-dressed couples. Siwon spots Hangeng and Heechul dancing, and he chuckles as he remembers how Hangeng told him that Heechul has always had two left feet. Luckily, it seems, Ryeowook does not have the same problem. She dances with beauty and elegance, and Siwon becomes even more drawn to her. As they turn, spinning into a new position within the crowd of dancers, Siwon sees Kibum, his back to the wall with a drink in his hand.

He excuses himself, telling Ryeowook that he hopes to see her again soon, and that she should talk to her sister if she wants to get in contact with him. She bows lightly before making her way back to Heechul. Siwon walks over to Kibum, taking the drink out of his hand and taking a sip. Soju.

“You want her, don’t you?” Kibum asks. Siwon is still staring at her from across the room as she talks with her sister, his eyes surveying every detail of her figure.

“More than anything else on this earth.” He feels Kibum take his hand in his, and he glances over at his longtime friend.

“Well, before you make her yours, what do you say about one last time?”

 

“I’m thinking that we should dye it either pink or violet. You’ve always matched so well with pastels,” Heechul says, running his hands through Ryeowook’s slowly-growing, recently-bleached hair. Ryeowook fidgets, turning over the bottle of pills that Heechul had managed to obtain for him.

Ryeowook doesn’t really know why he agreed to go along with Heechul’s plan, beyond the fact that he wants more in life than Jongwoon could give him. Despite that, it still feels wrong, to seduce Siwon into marrying him by acting like a woman. “It’s not like you have a problem with spreading your legs, how does a dress make any difference?” Heechul had asked when he had objected to the plan. Ryeowook had begun to cry, and although that was a sign that Heechul probably should have ended his plan right there, Heechul never gives up on something once he makes up his mind.

Ryeowook could tell that Heechul was in his element when he was helping Ryeowook choose outfits and put on makeup. He figures that that must be what happens when you live as female for years, especially when you have a fiancé who expects you go to upscale parties with him.

Heechul insists upon decorating the guest room in which Ryeowook is staying so that it feels more personalized, more like home. The sheets on the bed are a soft baby blue, and Heechul already has plans to have the walls repainted in a pastel pink. He remembers Ryeowook’s room at home, and he figures that Ryeowook would want something similar. “We can go visit Youngwoon and Jungsoo and get some of your things from your room at home, if you want.”

Ryeowook agrees somewhat reluctantly, and they decide that they will go in a week or so. Ryeowook insists that he has something to do in the meantime, although he refuses to elaborate when Heechul pesters him. Eventually Heechul decides to leave it alone, knowing that Ryeowook will never tell a secret once he has decided to keep it to himself.

Meanwhile, in the penthouse’s master bedroom, Heechul retires for the night to discover that Hangeng is sitting on the bed, reading a book that Heechul had gotten him as a present for his birthday. Hangeng sets down the book at the sight of Heechul, gesturing him over. Heechul slinks across the room, settling into his spot on Hangeng’s lap. He feels Hangeng’s hands run up and down his sides, eventually coming to rest on his backside. Heechul caresses Hangeng’s cheeks with his palms, leaning down to capture his lips.

They undress one another, and Heechul surrenders to the pleasure, hoping that this night means that he can finally stop living through his memories. Hangeng looks at him, once more, like he has hung the stars in the sky, and every movement of his hands screams adoration. Yet Heechul knows that those hands, no matter how adoring they may be, are still prone to wandering.

 

Jongwoon opens the door to see Ryeowook, although, for a second, he nearly doesn’t believe that it’s him. His hair is dyed a strawberry pink beneath his blue beanie, he’s wearing clothes that actually fit him, including a jacket with enough padding to actually protect him from the cold, and he has eyeliner lining his eyes and a soft pink lipstick coating his lips. More than all of that, though, is the fact that he’s wearing a skirt.

Jongwoon, recovering from his shock, pulls Ryeowook into a hug, letting the apartment door close behind them. “Oh god, I was so worried about you,” he breathes out, squeezing Ryeowook to his chest like his life depends on it. “You were gone for so long, what happened to you?”

Ryeowook frees himself from the hug, pushing Jongwoon away gently, reluctantly. He begins to recite the spiel that he’d prepared on the way over, his eyes fixed on the ground. “I’ve reunited with my unnie. I’ve made a better life.” He looks at Jongwoon for a second, before looking back down at the ground. “I came to say goodbye.”

Jongwoon looks at him, confusion and hurt evident in his eyes. “Wookie, what do you mean? You only have brothers, what are you talking about?”

Ryeowook takes a deep breath, steeling himself as he raises his head to look Jongwoon in the eye. “Biologically, yes, I only have brothers. But one of my brothers has been living as a woman for years, you know that. You remember Heechul.” He pauses, and when he starts again, his voice is laced with emotion. “Heechul-unnie has helped me so much. I have a place to sleep with an actual mattress, and I never have to worry about whether or not I’ll have food for the next day. I have a man who’s going to propose to me, and once we’re married I’ll have access to everything that I ever wanted.”

“You’d choose all that over love?” Jongwoon asks, his voice cold.

“Love?” Ryeowook asks, stalking towards Jongwoon. “You call what we had _love?_ When you would leave me alone _everyday_ , doing whatever it is you do and then only coming home in time for the dinner that I made with whatever we had left to eat? When we would go weeks without getting any money, and I didn’t know whether or not I would be able to eat, for days at a time? What about when you would get money, and spend all of it on that shit that you would convince me I needed to shoot up, just so you could keep me complacent? Or when you only spent time with me for sex or when you wanted to use me in one of your paintings? That’s not love, Jongwoon.”

He walks towards the door, opening it as Jongwoon stands still in shock. “If I have to choose between two men that don’t really love me, at least I have the sense to choose the one with money.” He walks out, closing the door behind him.

Jongwoon sinks down to the floor, putting his head in his hands as he stares at nothing and tries to calm his breathing. His Wookie is gone.

 

Youngwoon does not look at all surprised when Heechul and Ryeowook turn up on his doorstep unannounced, both of them in skirts and wearing one too many layers of makeup. He merely sighs, letting them in as he yells to Jungsoo for another drink.

Youngwoon and Jungsoo sit on one couch, Heechul and Ryeowook sitting across from them on another. Youngwoon listens as Heechul introduces Ryeowook as ‘our pretty little sister’ and Ryeowook calls Heechul ‘unnie’ and Youngwoon thinks that he’s never wanted to be more drunk. It’s not a surprise really, he’s grown up with them, and Heechul has been dressing as a woman for years, but it’s a little unnerving to see Ryeowook going along with it so unflinchingly.

Jungsoo happily chats with them, listening as Heechul talks about Ryeowook’s handsome, wealthy new suitor. He decides not to ask about Jongwoon, because the smile on Ryeowook’s face is brighter than the ones that he’d seen in years and he senses that talking about Jongwoon would ruin it.

Jungsoo accompanies the duo to Ryeowook’s old room. Heechul begins taking things that he thinks would look good in Ryeowook’s new room: sculptures, books, paintings, pictures. He takes one picture that shows the three of them as children with their parents. Little-Heechul was standing proudly at the front, in between his parents and his siblings. Little-Youngwoon was in front of their mother, trying to stand as tall as Heechul. Little-Ryeowook was in front of their father, their father’s arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. He had always been the closest to their father.

Ryeowook walks around the room, taking the things that he had missed the most while he was living with Jongwoon. He takes a blanket, a stuffed giraffe, a few other things of less consequence. Heechul and Jungsoo go to get some bags for Heechul and Ryeowook to carry the things that they’re taking.

Ryeowook walks over to the dollhouse once they’re gone. He takes the doll version of Jongwoon out of the dollhouse, away from where it was doing indecent things with his doll counterpart. He kisses the top of the doll’s beanie-clad head, his eyes shut as he feels his heartbeat in his chest. It seems like eternity passes. He opens his eyes, pulling the doll away. He stares at it for a few seconds, and then he leans down, placing the doll back in the dollhouse in the room next to Ryeowook’s, so that the dolls are back-to-back with only a thin wall between them.

Ryeowook walks away, leaving the dollhouse behind as he waits for Heechul and Jungsoo to return.

Youngwoon meets them again as they leave, pulling Ryeowook into a hug first and then Heechul. “I’m glad everything’s working out for you, I really am. But I’m not going to call you ‘noona.’”

Heechul smirks. “If you want to come to my wedding, you will.” Youngwoon rolls his eyes.

 

“You really intend to propose to this girl?” Kyuhyun asks, taking a sip of his tea. “You’ve known her for what, a week? And you’ve only met her once?”

Siwon scoffs at his brother, continuing to pace across the room. “It’s not like I would be marrying her for love. It’s a marriage of convenience, plain and simple.”

“Convenience, huh?” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes. “What convenience is that? Is it _convenient_ that the woman, the _engaged_ woman no less, that you’ve been lusting after for over a year has a little sister?” Kyuhyun pauses, taking another sip of his tea. “And what about Kibum? You have no qualms leaving his bed unattended?”

“There is nothing between me and Kibum,” Siwon insists.

“Of course not. Because you’re _straight._ Forgive me if that’s not exactly the most convincing excuse, especially considering your taste in women.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Well that older sister you’ve been after, that’s the one with the penis, right?” Kyuhyun asks sarcastically, causing Siwon to glare at him with nothing less than absolute hatred in his eyes. “I do hope the younger sister is the same way, or else you’ll be in for a less-than-pleasant surprise on your wedding night, won’t you be?”

“Are you done?”

“Listen, hyung, I have nothing against your preferences,” Kyuhyun says, ignoring Siwon. “I mean, who do you think I’m sleeping with?” He pauses, as if waiting for an answer, although he knows his brother won’t give one. “Anyway, the point is, as much as I _love_ to tease you, I just want to make sure that you’ll be happy. And in my own experience, tying yourself to someone because it’s convenient is not the best way to go.”

“Oh yes, because the ‘follow your heart’ strategy has worked out so well for you.”

“Now you’re just being mean.”

 

Heechul looks so beautiful when he’s sleeping. Well, he looks beautiful all the time, in Hangeng’s view, but he looks especially beautiful in slumber. When he’s awake, he’s always tense, his cunning eyes and taunting smirk always planning some devious scheme. Yet when he’s asleep, he lets all of that go and he seems so innocent. Sleep takes away the reminders of what Hangeng has lost.

Hangeng had been drawn to Heechul’s cunning, in the beginning. He was fiery, he was proud, and he was outspoken. He was everything that Hangeng should have been, but never could be. He was.

Hangeng feels guilty, sometimes, for the charade that they live in. The charade that Heechul lives in, because of him. Hangeng thinks, sometimes, that it has ruined Heechul. His once outspoken nature faded, and it seemed like he never has the energy to fight back against the things that he used to. When they were together, in the beginning, Heechul would have slapped him six-ways if he had caught Hangeng so much as flirting with anyone else. But Heechul became used to filling the role of the soon-to-be trophy-wife, and he stopped caring. He didn’t care when Hangeng came home late, smelling of someone else’s perfume. He didn’t even seem disappointed.

Hangeng had never cheated on Heechul, would never dare to. But he would push the limits, see how far he could go before Heechul would snap at him. He wanted to make Heechul jealous, to inspire the rage and determination that had once made Heechul burn like the brightest star. But Heechul was no longer anything more than a black hole, and everyday Hangeng became more afraid that Heechul would swallow the both of them whole.

Heechul had changed again when Ryeowook had come into their lives again. He became happier, and Hangeng could see that passion returning to him. He has something to live for again, and even if that something is not Hangeng, he will support Heechul’s passion to the end. Perhaps he will never again burn like the bright star he once was. But Hangeng knows that Heechul will always be his sun, and that’s more than enough to keep him going.

Hangeng leans over, brushing a few strands of hair out of Heechul’s closed eyes. He places a kiss on his forehead, holding Heechul closer than Heechul would have allowed if he was fully awake. “I don’t want to lose you.”

 

Siwon and Ryeowook’s engagement is deemed the engagement of the year. And as with any high-profile engagement, it’s celebrated with a party upscale enough to rival that of an actual wedding.

Heechul and Hangeng are there, of course, as are Youngwoon and Jungsoo. Jungsoo, with Heechul’s help, dresses as a woman, and, when asked, introduces himself as Youngwoon’s wife. He seems to be enjoying himself, which is more than can be said for Youngwoon, who is on his third glass of wine and doesn’t act like he plans on slowing down anytime soon.

From Siwon’s side, Kyuhyun is there with Sungmin, whom he had brought as his plus one. This ‘plus one’ had turned into a ‘plus two’ when Sungmin’s family had insisted that he bring his fiancée because, as Sungmin’s mother had so lovingly explained, they have to give the appearance of being a happy couple. Kibum is also there, off chatting with Zhoumi, one of Siwon’s second or third cousins who manages to make his way onto every family invitation list. If Zhoumi sees the barely-contained anger in Kibum’s eyes when he watches Siwon and Ryeowook together, he decides that saying nothing is the best option.

Siwon and Ryeowook look, to their credit, like the perfect couple that they are supposed to be. Siwon is tall and handsome and Ryeowook is short and beautiful. Heechul had convinced Ryeowook to get hair extensions matching his dyed-pink hair so that his hair falls just past his shoulders in gentle waves. Ryeowook can tell that Siwon likes the hair extensions, or at least, likes for everyone else to see how perfectly feminine his bride-to-be is.

There’s dancing, as there always is, and after a few rounds of Ryeowook dancing with Siwon everyone trades partners, and Ryeowook ends up with Kyuhyun, while Siwon ends up with Heechul. Kyuhyun looks at Ryeowook like he’s sizing him up, trying to determine something about him. He fights with himself over what the right words to say are, going between making a snarky comment or an actual compliment. Eventually he settles on, “I see why my brother likes you.”

Ryeowook questions him, raising an eyebrow, but Kyuhyun doesn’t respond further, his only answer being the glance he passes at Siwon and Heechul. They’re talking while they dance, Siwon’s hands wandering a little further than they should while Heechul threatens him about what will happen if he doesn’t take proper care of Ryeowook. Ryeowook watches them, seemingly unbothered. Kyuhyun decides that Ryeowook really is perfect for Siwon.

 

Heechul and Hangeng are married on a cold day at the end of March. It’s a simple ceremony, just the recitation of vows with only family members and a few close friends present. Once upon a time, Heechul would’ve wanted a grand wedding with everyone under the sun there. Once upon a time, Heechul wanted to be a star, the envy of all.

Heechul’s vows are nothing special. They’re traditional, with a few personal references added in to make it seem like Heechul had spent time on them. His voice is nearly monotone when he speaks. He decides that he will not cry.

Hangeng’s vows are intricate; he weaves together stories of their early days together with promises for the future, all while giving the distinct impression that there is nothing he wouldn’t do for Heechul. Heechul knows that he should feel loved, that he should be thankful for this man who compares him to the sun. But he just feels guilty, for dragging both of them this far into this mess, for binding Hangeng to him for all eternity when he knows that no one could ever stand to be with him for that long. Heechul cries.

Hangeng interprets the tears as happiness, and he holds him close and kisses him like the universe is ending after they exchange rings. For Hangeng, it is the end of the beginning. For Heechul, it is the beginning of the end.

 

Kyuhyun watches as Sungmin puts a ring on his new wife’s finger. They both look so happy, and Kyuhyun thinks that he never should’ve agreed to be the best man. It’s torturous enough to know that the man he loves is marrying someone else, but it is an entirely different thing to be witness to it firsthand.

He wants to say that he hates Sungmin’s new wife, but he doesn’t. She’s beautiful, kind, funny, all the things that one would wish for in a bride. She’s perfect for Sungmin, and they’re so alike it’s almost funny. Kyuhyun can’t bring himself to hate her for it. At the party, after Kyuhyun wishes them the best with his most convincing fake-smile plastered onto his face, she thanks him for being so kind and for always being such a great friend to Sungmin. Kyuhyun thanks her and walks away.

That’s all he’ll ever be now. A great friend. Never a lover, at least not without violating the trust that a marriage creates. It had never seemed real before, the change. Even when he found out that Sungmin was engaged, they still saw each other, still fell into bed together like they always had. Even after Kyuhyun had pushed him away and told him that they should stop what they were doing, they had never been able to stop for more than a few days. But with the marriage now official, Kyuhyun knows that they _must_ stop, and that they will stop. Sungmin may be drawn to Kyuhyun like a horse to water, but Sungmin would never betray his wife’s trust. He loves her.

Kyuhyun feels his fantasy of a life with Sungmin with the approval of both of their families slip away. The future that he had always imagined for himself, no matter how improbable it was, is no more. The wedding is the last nail in the coffin.

Kyuhyun sees, now, a different future for himself.

 

Siwon and Ryeowook’s wedding is simultaneously grand and simple. It’s a religious ceremony, performed in a church. It gives an overtone of ceremoniousness, of holiness. It’s the perfect feeling for the perfect couple. The wedding party, though, is far from simple and humble. There are a great number of guests from both families, and it seems as though everyone who is someone is there. The wedding is an art piece, a theatrical production. Watch the perfect couple begin their Happily Ever After.

Siwon thinks that his bride looks beautiful in her dress, the veil fitting so lovely over her soft pink hair. She is the perfect picture of femininity, and that’s all that anyone needs to know about her. Their marriage may be founded only on convenience and a mutual desire to play the perfect couple, but marriages have been founded on much less.

Ryeowook is calm. Siwon is as handsome as he has always been, and Ryeowook can feel his future inching towards him with every word out of the minister’s mouth. There is no love, there never has been. But Ryeowook can get through this, as long as he doesn’t think about what he’s leaving behind.

The marriage is sealed with a kiss, and all Ryeowook can think is how different it is from _him._ It feels like Siwon is devouring him, heart and soul, without a care in the world. It’s so different from _his_ gentle, genuine affection, how _his_ artistic hands would caress his cheeks and brush through his hair. Kissing Siwon just doesn’t feel right.

But the vows have already been said and there’s no going back on it now. Ryeowook turns to look at the audience as he breaks the kiss, smiling as best as he can. He links hands with Siwon and they walk into their new life together.

That night, Siwon undresses his bride, finding that she is very much like her sister. He smiles, running his fingers through her hair. He leans down, whispers, “Be good now, Baby Girl,” in her ear.

Ryeowook breaks.

 

“You’ve never gotten along with your brother, isn’t that right?”

Kyuhyun almost makes a joke about his sister-in-law sounding like his therapist, but he sees the glint in Ryeowook’s eyes and smiles back at her. “That’s right,” he responds, watching as her coy smile widens. “I take it that having to spend time with him has changed your mind about him. You’ve seen the light.”

She lays out a plan, a loose one at least, one that she needs his help on. He’s never been one to back out on an opportunity to cause his brother harm, especially not one so great as this. He gives his assent to help her, but he knows that they’ll need help. People will say that larger conspiracies crumble more quickly, but really, there’s so many people out to get his brother that they might as well take all the help that they can get.

Kyuhyun tells her that he’ll be in touch, that she should go ahead and recruit whomever she can. He escorts her to the door, allowing his hand to linger a little on her side as he says goodbye. She does not mention it.

The door shuts behind her, and Kyuhyun returns to his kitchen. He adds a dash of sugar to his cup of tea, watching as the particles swirl in the liquid. Oh, how easy poison would be. Of course, that’s far too obvious. And not nearly enough fun.

 

“He’s hurting you?”

Ryeowook takes a sip from the cup of tea that Jungsoo had offered him. He meets Youngwoon’s eyes, seeing the concern apparent in them. “Not _hurting_ , _per se_ , but it’s something akin to echoes of what happened before. There are enough similarities to make me remember.”

Youngwoon exhales, feeling Jungsoo’s calming hand on his thigh. “And you already have Heechul on board with this plan of yours?” Ryeowook nods. “He doesn’t know, does he?”

“About what happened before? No,” Ryeowook says. “I’m almost amazed that Hangeng has never told him.”

“He always was good at keeping secrets,” Jungsoo muses, adding to the conversation despite not totally understanding what the brothers were referring to. How this family love their secrets. “Even from Heechul.”

They sit in silence for a moment, each taking a sip of their own drink. Light filters in through the grand windows, illuminating the dust swirling in clouds across the room. Ryeowook sighs. “You will help, won’t you?”

“Haven’t I always?”

 

Siwon wraps an arm around Ryeowook’s waist, mirroring the position of the other two couples in the room. He hands his wife a wine glass, watching as she brings the glass to her lips and takes a sip. She hands it back to him, licking her lip to rid it of the dark red smear the wine had left. His eyes follow her, travelling from her lips to her eyes, staring into those dark brown eyes. She stares back, watching as he breaks the eye contact to take a sip of wine from the same glass.

A cough interrupts them. Siwon turns to see his brother-in-law staring at him. Siwon has never had much conversation with Youngwoon before, having always dealt more with Heechul as a representative of their family. He’d heard rumors, of course, of the alcoholic heir with a companion that had been little more than an orphan beggar when he’d been bought off the streets. Siwon appreciates the trouble that they had gone to in order to present Jungsoo as Youngwoon’s wife, but he can’t help but notice that Jungsoo is not the same as Heechul and Ryeowook. There’s a masculine air, something that Jungsoo is unaccustomed to hiding. Perhaps it’s in the way in he sits, or in the way he never averts his eyes when a man speaks to him. Heechul and Ryeowook are accustomed to this. Jungsoo is not.

Heechul leans forward to grab his own glass from the table, doing his best to break the tension. He can see Siwon’s mind whirring. He’s suspicious, as he often is, but Heechul doesn’t think that he’s caught on to them yet. Ryeowook is putting on a good show, as Heechul knew he would, but Heechul can’t help but notice the way that Ryeowook’s fingers tap against his leg, the way that Ryeowook is shivering.

“Siwon, would you mind if my sister and I took a walk for a few minutes?” Heechul asks, doing his best to smile politely. Siwon assents, and Heechul stands, grabbing Ryeowook by the wrist as he drags him from the room.

When they are far enough away from the others, Heechul stops, pulling Ryeowook into one of the numerous side-rooms that litter their childhood home. He shuts the door behind them, casting a look around the room and catching sight of the small camera that Kyuhyun had helped to install as part of their plan.

He turns back to look at Ryeowook. Ryeowook’s eyes are cast down, toward the floor, or perhaps toward his own fidgeting fingers. “Look at me, Ryeowook,” Heechul whispers, trying to be quiet enough that the camera’s microphone won’t catch it. When Ryeowook disobeys, Heechul grabs Ryeowook’s thin chin with his perfectly manicured fingers, turning his brother’s face to look him in the eye. “You’re going through withdrawals. When was the last time you took your pills?”

Ryeowook quivers under Heechul’s stare. Heechul has always had penetrating eyes, always seeing either everything or nothing, depending on how much he was searching. Ryeowook knows he can’t hide. “Two days ago. I just thought that for this to work, I needed to have a clear mind.”

Heechul sighs. “Those pills are just blockers, Ryeowook. You’ve been perfectly sane and sober since the day you showed up at my door and I got you on those pills and off of heroine.” Ryeowook lets out something between a sigh and a cry, probably from the withdrawals. Heechul pulls Ryeowook to his chest, running his hands through his brother’s hair. “Do you have your pills with you?” Heechul asks, speaking softly into Ryeowook’s hair. Ryeowook shakes his head.

Heechul changes his tone, speaking loud enough that the microphone will pick him up. “We’re going to have a little change of plans, alright? You’re going to go to the control room now. Jongwoon should have an extra bottle of those pills with him. Once you’ve got the pills in your system, you’re going to get ready a little earlier than we planned. And in a few minutes from now, once you’ve had enough time to get things started, I’m going to go back to your husband and set things in motion.”

 

“Message received,” Sungmin says, turning away from the screens that he had been monitoring. “Kyuhyun! Change of plans!”

Kyuhyun sprints over from the other side of the room. Sungmin smiles lightly, amazed that Kyuhyun still comes so quickly when he calls. “Timeline’s moved up. Ryeowook will be here in a few minutes tops. You and Kibum should get started. Leave Jongwoon here with us, he and Ryeowook will join you after he gets here.”

“Will do,” Kyuhyun says, practically running to the other side of the room as he grabs his brother’s ex-lover by the wrist. He drags Kibum out of the room, and Sungmin can’t help but think that Kyuhyun looks a little bit too excited.

“Jongwoon,” Sungmin says, catching the attention of the occupant of the back of the room. He takes his earbuds out, raising an eyebrow. “You have some kind of pills with you?” Jongwoon nods, understanding immediately. “Go ahead and get those out. Ryeowook’ll be here in a few minutes and he’s going to need some.”

Jongwoon fishes into his bag as he puts his earbuds back in. Sungmin turns around to face the room’s other occupant, who had so far remained silent for most of the evening. “So, excited?”

Zhoumi chuckles. “I’m only here because Kyuhyun blackmailed me into helping. I don’t particularly care either way what happens.”

“Blackmailed, huh?”

“My parents don’t know about my boyfriend,” Zhoumi says in explanation. Sungmin nods.

“I know that feeling completely,” Sungmin says. “What’s your boyfriend like?”

“Canadian.”

“Hm. Never been with one of those before.”

 

Heechul walks back to the sitting room, where Jungsoo seems to be chatting enthusiastically with Siwon. Heechul has to praise his acting ability. Even if Jungsoo doesn’t know the entire plan, he certainly knows more than enough to know what he’s implicated in.

Heechul settles back down next to Hangeng, resting a hand on his leg. Hangeng intertwines their fingers and gently squeezes Heechul’s hand. “Siwon, your wife’s taking a little rest in her old room; she was feeling a little under the weather. I think it must have been the wine, she’s never been able to handle her alcohol very well.” That’s a lie. Ryeowook handles alcohol better than any of them.

Siwon raises an eyebrow. “Should I go and check on her? If she’s not feeling well, I should probably take her home.”

“I think she needs a few minutes on her own to just rest and settle down a little,” Heechul replies. “So I’d wait a little, but you should probably take her home if she’s still not feeling well after that.”

Heechul feels the others casting him questioning glances, but he merely smiles, continuing to lead Siwon through conversation to buy time. The others let it go, deciding that Heechul must know what he’s doing.

 

Ryeowook settles beneath the sheets. Jongwoon runs a hand through Ryeowook’s hair from where he stands beside the bed. Ryeowook feels the pills’ effects begin to settle in a little. The shivers have mostly subsided, but he knows he’s not totally back to normal.

Jongwoon leans down, placing a kiss on Ryeowook’s forehead. “It’ll all be over soon, my dear.”

“You know, I’m still not all that convinced that you love me,” Ryeowook mumbles. He draws the covers up around himself, turning away from Jongwoon.

“If I didn’t love you, do you really think I’d be doing this?” Jongwoon asks. Ryeowook doesn’t respond, and Jongwoon begins to turn away. “I’m getting clean, you know. Heechul gave me those pills so that I could get clean as well.”

He walks toward the closet, where Kyuhyun is already hiding. Ryeowook’s voice stops him. “I want to trust you. Just prove to me that I can, alright?”

“Alright.”

 

Siwon follows Youngwoon down the corridor. Siwon can’t help but notice the way that the low light flickers off the dark red walls, giving the interior of the house an almost foreboding feel. Siwon had grown up in a mansion as well, but his family had always decorated it in lighter colors. Walking through this house is like walking through Kyuhyun’s teenage bedroom over and over again.

They finally reach a door among the many, which Youngwoon opens, ushering Siwon inside. The lights are turned off, but a lamp on the bedside table emits a soft glow across the room. Siwon walks over to the bed as Youngwoon shuts the door behind them, sliding the lock into place as quietly as possible.

Siwon sits down on the bed, careful not to disturb his wife as she sleeps. He brushes a strand of hair off of her face, gazing at her softly closed eyelids. He leans down to place a kiss on her forehead, smiling as her eyes slide open. She brings her arms up to wrap around his back, pulling him closer to her.

The sound of a door slamming open rings out, and Siwon attempts to turn to look, only to feel Ryeowook holding him closer, refusing to let go. He looks down into her eyes, and he cannot tell whether she is afraid. Her lips curl into a coy smile as he feels pairs of hands grab his arms, pulling him backwards as she lets go.

Siwon feels his back slam into the floor, and he looks up to see himself being pinned down by Kyuhyun, Youngwoon, and a man whom he has never seen before. He turns his head to see Ryeowook sitting on the bed, smiling softly. His gaze shifts as he hears the sound of a lock, or perhaps a clasp, clicking open from beneath the bed. A few of the floor panels lift up, and out crawls the being that Siwon knows he should’ve feared.

Kibum crawls out from under the bed, dusting himself off as he stands, walking the few feet to stand beside Siwon and the others. He kneels down beside Siwon, and for a moment, Siwon almost believes that Kibum must be here to save him.

“Such a shame, isn’t it?” Kibum says lightly, as if he had merely breathed the words. He leans down, pressing a final kiss to Siwon’s lips as his hands wrap tight around his neck.

 

“Is this what it felt like at our parents’ funeral?” Ryeowook breathes, just loud enough so that Youngwoon can hear it. They are far enough back in the crowd from where Kyuhyun is scattering the ashes that they don’t have to worry much about the attention, although Ryeowook has always been wary of eavesdroppers.

“Ryeowook, you know I didn’t--”

“I know what you did, hyung,” Ryeowook says, and Youngwoon is silent for a moment before he speaks.

“I cried for our mother,” Youngwoon says. “For all I did, she didn’t deserve to be caught up in it.”

“She was complicit,” Ryeowook replies, his words biting. “She knew as much as you did, and she never so much as tried to stop him. I’m thankful to you and I can forgive Heechul, but I will never be able to forgive her.”

Youngwoon sighs. “It’s past, now. She’s gone.”

Ryeowook doesn’t say anything, turning his head to meet Jongwoon’s eyes across the crowd. Jongwoon blends in well with the crowd of mourners; he’s always been good at keeping a low profile. Ryeowook had tried to convince him not to come, but of course, he had insisted. For moral support, even if he could not be directly by Ryeowook’s side.

As the service ends, Ryeowook walks away, toward where he can see Heechul and Hangeng waiting for him. Heechul wraps an arm around his back, allowing Ryeowook to curl into his side. “Let’s go home.”

 

Heechul smiles as he closes the door, leaving Jongwoon and Ryeowook alone. He walks down the hall, opening the door to the master bedroom. The room is empty, but he hears water running from the master bathroom. He undresses, keeping his footsteps quiet as he steps into the bathroom.

Seeing his husband’s shut eyes as he relaxes in the bath, Heechul steps forward quietly. When he’s beside the bath, he leans down, running a hand along Hangeng’s face. Hangeng opens his eyes, smiling up at him. Heechul leans down to kiss him, pulling back for a second to step into the bath.

Hangeng wraps his arms around Heechul, pulling him to lay back against his chest. Heechul lays his head back on Hangeng’s shoulder, staring up into his husband’s eyes. Hangeng intertwines their left hands, allowing their rings to clink together.

Heechul smiles. “You’re mine.”

“Forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> I almost considered tagging "kibum ex-machina" but I figured that would be a bit on the nose. Also I know that writing 3 wedding scenes in a row is a bit much, but I figured that it would be better to have them in one go if there were going to be multiple.
> 
> So anyway, there is a prologue for this fully written, but it's a lot darker than this. Let me know if you'd be interested in reading it.


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